I Generally Don’t Critique Religious Beliefs, But…

I try to avoid critiquing people’s religion as I think any belief system which provides meaning and direction in people’s lives—as well as hope—is a good thing, but when those beliefs are based on potentially harmful fairytales, I feel compelled to speak out. Such is the case with the solemn holy week being observed by Jews presently: Passover.

What led to the blasphemy I am about to speak was my forgetting how it was the Israelites marked their houses so that God would pass them over as he slayed Egypt’s first-born. So, I got out my bible and ended up reading the entire story (Exodus 3-12), not just the part about the Israelites smearing lamb’s blood (or goat’s blood, in a pinch) on their front doors to indicate that Hebrews lived within (First iconoclasm: If God is as omniscient as we are led to believe, it seems like he would know in which houses Hebrews lived without the need for a visual aid).

When Moses beseeches the Pharoah to “Let my people go”, he’s not requesting that the Israelites be allowed to emigrate out of Egypt, but simply that they be allowed to go into the desert for three days to offer sacrifice to their god. The Pharoah accuses the Israelites of being lazy and just wanting to get a few days off from work, so he refuses to let them go. (The Pharoah was right to be suspicious of his slaves’ motives but a little off the mark. The 3-day holiday was a ruse suggested to Moses by God himself by which the Israelites could surreptitiously skedaddle out of Egypt for good).

When God hears that the Pharoah refused Moses’ request, he tells Moses what he has in store for the Pharaoh, saying he will “stretch out my hand against Egypt”, i.e., inflict such calamities that the Pharoah will not just allow the Israelites to leave but drive them out. Moses and his sidekick, Aaron, then go before the Pharoah again and, to impress the Pharaoh with a sign of the Hebrew god’s cachet, Aaron throws his staff onto the ground and it turns into a snake. Unimpressed, the Pharoah calls in his own sorcerers who perform the same trick.

Likewise, the Pharaoh’s magicians repeat the next two tricks performed by Aaron—turning the Nile’s water into blood and infesting the whole country with frogs—but they are stumped from there on out, as God inflicts one thing after another on the Egyptians: a plague of gnats, then flies; a pestilence which kills all of Egypt’s livestock, followed by one which causes boils on man and beast; then a destructive  hailstorm; a plague of locusts; and three days of darkness. (It’s not clear why the Pharaoh didn’t just have Moses and Aaron beheaded the second time they warned him of the dire fate awaiting his people.)   

 Despite all these manifestations of the power of the Hebrew god, the Pharoah refuses to let the Israelites go, though he pulls his own stunt by promising they could go if Moses would just have God end the afflictions besetting Egypt; then, after God ends them, reneging on his promise. And so comes the coup de grace: the killing of all the Egyptians’ first-born, even down to their animals.

After that holocaust the Pharaoh has had enough and not just allows the Israelites to leave but commands them to do so, saying “you will be doing me a favor”. Moses has his people gather up their belongings and, at God’s suggestion, instructs them to ask their gentile neighbors for articles of gold, silver, and clothing, knowing they would never be returned. “Thus”, smirks the biblical scribe in a line that in today’s world would be considered anti-Semitic, ”did they despoil the Egyptians.”     

So, the dark side of the Jews celebrating their emancipation from bondage is the slaughter of thousands of innocent Egyptian men, women, and children, as well as their dogs and cats. And they teach this gruesome tale to impressionable, wide-eyed children! It makes Hansel and Gretel’s shoving the wicked witch into the oven look like a fun practical joke. (Note to aspiring founders of a religion: If you want to make up stories about your god, tell ones that portray him/her as a decent, caring, lovable deity, not a deceitful, cliquish, vindictive mass murderer.)  

Note for Christians: Good news! Stunning new evidence indicates that the Shroud of Turin is indeed the burial cloth of Jesus of Nazareth: The Real Face of Jesus (newsmax.com (Don’t get me started!)

Author: Ken Meyercord

Ken Meyercord is a retired computer type living in Reston, Virginia, where he fills his ample spare time with taking fitness classes at the Y; hiking, biking, and kayaking the USA; and maintaining a blog (kiaskblog.wordpress.com) for which he has cobbled together enough tall-tales, iconoclastic views, and misinformation to generate over 80 postings. Ken has self-published four books: a treatise on economic theory, "The Ethic of Zero Growth"; a memoir of the Vietnam War years, "Draft-Dodging Odyssey" (under the penname “Ken Kiask”); a eulogy to his starry-eyed, star-crossed son, "At the Forest’s Edge" (under the son's name: Khaldun Meyercord); and a course teaching a simplified version of English, "Ezenglish" (all available online wherever fine books are sold). In pre-COVID times he haunted think-tank events to ask provocative, iconoclastic questions (see “Adventures in Think Tank Land” on YouTube) and produced a public access TV show, “Civil Discord”, on which discordant views on controversial topics were discussed in a civil manner (episodes of the show can be viewed on YouTube; search for "Civil Discord Show").

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